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tv   The Late Show With Stephen Colbert  CBS  December 26, 2017 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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colbert is up next. our next newscast will be tomorrow morning at 4:30 a.m. >> have a good night. captioning sponsored by cbs >> today on "face the nation," no condemnation by the president of white nationalists after a deadly protest in a southern city. the president who built a career on bluntness took pains to not place blame on any one group, enraging many. >> this is a vicious group of animals living in their parents' basements. a network of lawless savages-- who should be put in jail, by the way-- very, very bad people, very bad, evil people-- bing, bing, bong, bong, bing, bing, bing-- and unless you name the enemy, you will never ever solve the problem. >> we have a president that doesn't know what the hell he's doing! ( cheers and applause ) >> announcer: it's the "late
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show" with stephen colbert! tonight, stephen welcomes anthony scaramucci, bob odenkirk and musical guest liam gallagher, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it's stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) how are ya! ( cheers and applause ) good to see ya! hey, what's up! nice to see you! thanks for bei ( band playing ) thank you, joe! thank you so much, louis! thank you, maddie! please have a seat, you're too kind. thanks you very much. please, sit down. ( cheers and applause ) thanks so much. welcome to the "late show," everybody. i'm your host stephen colbert. ( piano riff ) and it's good to be with you. thank you so much for being here.
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boy, what a terrible weekend. yeah. white supremacists from around the country carrying shields, clubs, body armor, and automatic weaponry descended on charlottesville, virginia-- a beautiful, great american town-- to hold a rally they called, "unite the right." the rally was a clear attempt to spark violence, and it did. one of these white supremacists drove a car into a crowd of counter-protesters killing one young woman, heather heyer, and injuring 19 more. in addition, two virginia state troopers, h. jay cullen and berke bates, who were monitoring the rally from the air, were killed when their helicopter crashed. our hearts go out to the victims and their families. and it is difficult to express how heartbreaking it is to see something like this happening in our country. but here's one thing that's not difficult to express: nazis are bad. ( cheers and applause ) the k.k.k.? i'm not a fan! ( cheers and applause ) that wasn't hard.
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that was easy. i enjoyed saying it. ( laughter ) but on saturday, when the nation looked to our president to rebuke these hate groups, what he said was this: >> we condemn in the strongest possible terms this egregious display of hatred, bigotry, and violence on many sides, on many sides. >> stephen: many sides? ( audience boos ) mr. president, this is terrorism, not your order at k.f.c. ( laughter ) "i'd like the ten piece bucket with potato wedges, fries, mashed-- you know what? many sides. many sides. coleslaw." ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) how can you possibly say you condemn this in the strongest possible terms when you don't even name the groups responsible or say what they did? "i strongly condemn you-know-
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who, about you-know-what, and, you know what, aren't we all nazis if you think about it?" ( laughter ) i've seen angrier yelp reviews. and they weren't afraid to use the word "nazi" when describing how long their jalapeño poppers took. here's the problem. this is the nut of what's most disturbing about this is that the president came out after a tragedy and, after he made his statement, reasonable people could not tell if was condemning nazis. and it's not like trump is a shrinking violet. he's known for criticizing things. if only the president was as mad about neo-nazis murdering people in the streets as he's been about hillary clinton, the "new york times," cnn, joe scarborough, kristen stewart, the cast of hamilton, diet coke, nordstrom's not selling his daughter's clothes-- ( cheers and applause ) --arnold schwarzenegger, the mayor of london, sadiq khan, me, the state of new hampshire, gold star families, penn jillette's las vegas show, the movie
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"django unchained," meryl streep, and lady ghostbusters. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i'm not a fan. i don't understand. i just don't understand! and while he wouldn't name the perpetrators, trump was very quick to say who's not to blame. >> it's been going on for a long time in our country. not donald trump, not barack obama. it's been going on for a long, long time. >> stephen: "yeah, obama and i both share some responsibility here, i mean, i embraced alt- right racists, obama was black, we both contributed to the problem in our own way." well, after the president blew the easiest condemnation of all time, trump took criticism from "many sides, many sides." ( laughter ) ( applause ) ( piano riff ) many sides, i, i--
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( cheers and applause ) but he did get praise from one group: neo-nazis. one prominent white power website wrote: careful, guys. careful, guys. he says he loves you now, but one day he's going to leave you for younger nazis. ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: thank you, jon. thank you. >> jon: he might come around! >> stephen: of course, nazis weren't the only ones praising donald trump. so was the klan. like former k.k.k. grand wizard and current taxidermy lizard, david duke. ( laughter ) seen here being racially superior. ( laughter ) thank you, jon. ( cheers and applause )
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david duke was at charlottesville hate-a-palooza, and he said this: >> we are determined to take our country back, we're going to fulfill the promises of donald trump, and that's what we believed in, that's why we voted for donald trump. >> stephen: so the klan voted for donald trump. oh, that's right. i remember they wore those special "make america great again" hats. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) i certainly hope we're applauding for hats. ( laughter ) faced with this absolute p.r. clustermunch, on sunday, the white house released this: okay, good. finally, someone willing to
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stand up, only we don't know who that person was because it was "an unidentified white house spokesperson." ( laughter ) why-- why-- why unidentified? "look, of course, we don't support the nazis or the k.k.k. you're not going to use my name are you?" ( laughter ) "i could get in trouble." ( laughter ) now, here's the thing. some people didn't need their anti-nazi statements explained later. like the mayor of charlottesville, who called the rally a "cowardly parade of hatred, bigotry, racism, and intolerance," which, coincidentally, was also the theme of steve bannon's senior prom. ( laughter ) ( applause ) "under the sea." >> jon: "under the sea." ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: also, you might recall that, on friday, the white supremacists held a torch- wielding march, only they were holding tiki torches. how lame.
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that's like villagers coming after frankenstein holding scented candles. "ugh, ahh sandalwood vanilla bad! argh!" ( laughter ) and, here's the deal, the company that makes tiki torches released a statement saying: ( cheers and applause ) ( applause ) yes, give it up! >> jon: i like to see that. >> stephen: give it up! i got to say, it's pretty troubling when a backyard decoration comes out swinging stronger against nazis than the president of the united states. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) your move, lawn flamingos.
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( laughter ) so, faced with getting morally dunked on by pretty much everybody, today, the president dug a trench, lowered the bar into it, and then slithered over it, somehow finding the courage to read a statement clearly written by somebody else: >> racism is evil and those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs. including the k.k.k., neo-nazis, white supremacists, and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as americans. >> stephen: was that so hard? why did that take two days? "sir, how do you feel about nazis?" "give me 48 hours to get back to you." ( laughter ) and trump tried to heal a news cycle by reminding us what we all have in common. >> we all salute the same great flag.
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>> stephen: no, we don't. ( laughter ) i have seen their flags. they can't even agree which one they're going to salute. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) okay? don't mix us up. ( piano riff ) he didn't answer any questions there, but later he was pressed on the issue by cnn's jim acosta: ( audience reacts ) >> stephen: see how fast you condemned cnn, right off the top of your head with no script. next time, like that... but with nazis. ( cheers and applause )
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it's that simple. he can do it. he's very good at it. ( cheers and applause ) and here's another thing-- and i don't know where i'm finding the courage to say-- here's another thing i don't like about nazis. a lot of these nazis showed up to the rally "wearing their uniform of khakis and white polo shirts." because nothing strikes more fear into the hearts of your enemies than cosplaying as the assistant manager of a pool supply company. ( laughter ) ( piano riff ) look-- look, nazis, you don't get to turn khakis and white polo shirts into the official uniform of racism. what's going to happen to guys who actually dress like that? people like me and jake from state farm? ( laughter ) do i have to throw out all my polo shirts now? well, two can play at that game. if you get to ruin khakis and polo shirts, i say red baseball caps mean you're an ass ( bleep ). ( cheers and applause )
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we got a great show for you tonight. when we return, i'll sit down with "the mooch"! stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ [♪ ] that's the new rockstar. hurry in to old navy for up to seventy-five percent off storewide! that's up to seventy-five percent off with all jeans on sale from fifteen dollars for adults and twelve dollars for kids at old navy. (dog growls) named after a star. crafted to celebrate an unforgettable holiday. host one to remember. ♪ ladies and gentleman this is a robbery. what are you doing after this?
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: jon batiste and stay human, everybody! i love it! that's fantastic! ( cheers and applause ) thank you, jon. please have a seat, everybody! ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight is the shortest tenured communications director in white house history. please welcome, anthony scaramucci. ( cheers and applause )
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( audience booing ) ( band playing ) anthony, come on up! ( audience booing ) >> boo-- alright, get it out. i'll pretend those are mooches and not boos, stephen. >> stephen: we'll find out later. ( laughter ) now, thanks for being here. >> it's great to be here. >> stephen: is it? >> yeah, i'm like arya stark, i took a list of all your comedy writers, my kill list, they're in the back, i wrote them all down. >> stephen: you're comedically threatening to kill people who work for me? >> no, i'm kidding, i'm kidding. >> stephen: just curious. >> i'm not allowed to joke anymore, i've learned that. ( laughter ) >> stephen: listen, i just want to start by saying-- ( crosstalk ) no, no, no, no-- you don't get to stop my show, i stop my show. ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) here's the thing, i want you to know, just for the record, this
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is on the record, this is being recorded right now. >> thank you. >> stephen: that's a microphone you're wearing right now. okay. i said no "gotcha" questions, i promised you no "gotcha" questions. but i'm going to lead with one. >> fire away, go ahead. ( laughter ) won't be the first one. >> stephen: nazis, good or bad? >> super bad, we know that, super bad. >> stephen: why do you think the president of the united states who you called "the most media savvy person of our times," would shank a softball like that so hard when he should have just come out there and condemned the people who were there to start violence? >> well, i think there's a couple of issues there. he said the "all sides" thing, i said-- >> stephen: many sides, many sides. >> many sides, he should have been way harsher on that. i said that. >> stephen: harsher on that, how? >> he should have condemned white supremacism and neo-nazis. >> stephen: why do you think he didn't do that? who stopped him from doing that? >> well, i think at the end of the day, it's the president, himself. i'm not going to blame or point fingers at anybody, but i think he knows that.
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>> stephen: why not the president? why not blame or point fingers at the president? if he's responsible-- >> --but you were asking about someone else-- ( cheers and applause ) >> hold on a second. you were asking about someone else in the administration. >> stephen: okay. >> but, i think-- listen, it was late, i'm not going to say that it wasn't, but he did go to the white house today and he did make a statement which you just said, it was very declarative against it. >> stephen: the president had prepared remarks on saturday and prepared remarks today. today he stuck to the script. saturday, he went off script with his "many sides, many sides." that was an ad-lib in the moment. which one of them do you think he meant? the one that's written down or the one that he just comes up with in the moment? >> you guys have been super rough on me and super rough on him, but he is a compassionate person-- i know him as a compassionate person. ( audience boos ) that's all right, that's okay, that's my opinion. >> stephen: don't boo him for being the messenger. in what way is he a compassionate person? what is the evidence of that? >> well, i mean, listen, it's a super tough job. he made a step to give up which was a luxurious lifestyle--
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>> stephen: who cares? really? we're supposed to feel bad for a guy who gave up his billionaire lifestyle to be the most powerful man in the world? i don't understand. ( cheers and applause ) >> but, by the way, that was touch and go, though. that was touch and go. >> stephen: what do you mean? what was touch and go? >> well, i think when he started his campaign, i think it was unclear whether he was going to win or not. i mean, at the end of the day-- >> stephen: that's for everybody, everybody's unclear on whether or not they're going to win. >> i understand that. stephen, it's a huge sacrifice to do this stuff. you may not agree with me on that. >> stephen: well, it is a huge sacrifice. one of the things you don't get to do is complain about it. >> but, i haven't heard him complain about it-- has he? ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: he has. he said, it's a very hard job. he said, like, i could have had my previous lifestyle-- >> but that's him wearing his heart on his sleeve, though. ( audience member laughs ) that's him expressing himself. that's his-- i think president obama, michelle obama also expressed you know, it's a fish bowl, it's a difficult job. >> stephen: sure. >> i think president bush said the same thing. it's not like it's not a difficult job.
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>> stephen: but let's get back-- >> being the communications director is a difficult job. ( laughter ) >> stephen: my original question was-- why do you think-- you're a guy who said that he hits free-throws with the top coat and he hits these putts-- >> i've seen him doing that, yeah. >> stephen: saying condemning white supremacists and neo-nazis is a one inch putt. why do you think he choked? >> again, i think there's a-- it's a almost a counterintuitive thing with him as he relates to the media. the media is expecting him to do something, he sometimes does the exact opposite. >> stephen: wait, just to thumb his nose at them? but, wait a second, you're saying he does something to do the opposite of what was expected of him? >> but some of that worked during the campaign. >> stephen: the campaign's over, now he's the president. >> i understand that, but he's also out there going out to see his base, he's flown to west virginia, youngstown, ohio, and other places. >> stephen: but his base isn't nazis, are you saying his base is nazis? >> no, no, of course not. >> stephen: i'm not saying that either, but-- >> let's be fair to him today, though. ( audience laughs )
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he did condemn the nazis today. >> stephen: two days later! does he order his spine on amazon prime? why did it take so long? ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> that's a good line, and i said yesterday that he should have been tougher on it. the problem is i'm probably the only person that would come from the trump administration or formerly from the trump administration and sit here. >> stephen: no, i'm grateful you're here. >> i don't know if he's going to come and sit here and answer that question for you, but only he really can answer that question. i said yesterday and i maintain that he's got to be tougher on that stuff if he wants his legislative agenda to pass. he's got to move in a more moderate direction, he's got to appeal to people that are possibly voted for him to helpt him ascend to the presidency. >> stephen: okay. what's it like inside the white house? >> small. >> stephen: small? i've been in the building. ( laughter ) what i mean is, what is it like? from the outside, it looks like a dumpster fire. ( laughter ) what is it like--
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( cheers and applause ) you have rumors of infighting and that there's chaos in there. what was it like for the ten days you were in there? did you get a sense of the chaos? >> well, listen, i mean, it's a tough place. there was a lot of infighting. you know, the front stabber was backstabber, i think you said that two weeks ago. i have a tendency to be very open and honest with people. what ends up happening there though is people don't do that. what they do is they go behind each other's backs, and they leak things to the press and they say nasty things about each other to try and destabilize them or to influence the president's judgment of them, and so, whatever you think about me, i was pretty open about how i felt about people-- ( laughter ) --very open. >> stephen: very open. >> --and i will tell you that the way a good culture works, i've run two reasonably successful organizations, you got to have some level of esprit de corps and it didn't start that way. >> stephen: what's going on in
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this photo right here? >> that's a rough photo, right? >> stephen: there you are. this is you over here, holding your thumbs in your belt like a gunslinger, and this is reince priebus. >> yeah. >> stephen: what is going on? were you brought in just to get rid of him? >> i don't want to say that-- >> stephen: ...and sean spicer? >> i don't want to say it that way. >> stephen: was it a part of your job? >> i would say-- >> stephen: say it like "the mooch," say it like "the mooch." ( audience reacts ) >> well, there was no-- all right, so the-- >> stephen: give me some "mooch," give me some "mooch" here. >> so "the mooch" of long island would say there's no love lost there, obviously, look at the picture. >> stephen: sure, exactly. >> and so, that was caught by a "wall street journal" photographer, before the president did-- which was a great interview with the "wall street journal." the weird thing about my relationship with reince is we were pretty good friends when i was a political donor writing checks to the r.n.c. but once i became part of the administration, or was about to enter the administration, for whatever reason, it was a little more adversarial.
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>> stephen: now, you thought he was one of the leakers. >> i did. >> stephen: he's gone, right? who's leaking now? is it steve bannon? >> well, i've said that. >> stephen: say it now, say it to these people. >> listen, i have been pretty open about that. >> stephen: is steve bannon a leaker? >> i said he was, and, obviously, he got caught on tape saying he was, so i have no problem saying that. >> stephen: okay. is he going to be gone in a week? >> that's up to the president. >> stephen: but what do think? what does "the mooch" think? >> if it was up to me, he would be gone, but it's not up to me. >> stephen: you said he's tryin. ( cheers and applause) >> are you allowed to say that? >> stephen: yeah, it's cool. they said it's cool. they said i could say it tonight. >> alright, mom, i'm sorry i said that, it got picked up on a recording line, sorry about that. >> stephen: i said, "sock." i said, "sock." that's what was behind the bleep. >> although he did autograph one of those cartoons for you so i'm bringing that home. >> stephen: here's the deal. are you telling us that you never even tried? ( laughter )
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( cheers and applause ) because, as an adult male-- it does not pass the smell test. >> hold on a second. eddie murphy said that if you could do that he would never leave the house, remember when he said that. no, i'm not capable of doing it, let's just put it that way. >> stephen: okay, i'm not saying capable, no one said he succeeded. >> no, he's probably not capable of it either. maybe if he's doing hot yoga in there or something, i don't know. ( laughter ) >> stephen: well, we got to take a little bit of a break. we'll be right back with more anthony scaramucci. stick around. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ 60% of women are wearing the wrong size pad and can experience leaks discover always my fit. find the number that's right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. the better the fit, the better it protects. always. we've made you all diets dear januand cleanses.rry. thing is, food isn't a resolution. it's fuel for our resolutions.
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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey everybody, we're back! with former white house communications director anthony scaramucci. "mooch," david duke was at this rally, in charlottesville. he said that they want to fulfill the promises of donald trump, that is why they, the klan, voted for donald trump.
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>> mm-hmm. >> stephen: are there elements of white supremacy within the white house right now? >> no. >> stephen: is steve bannon a white supremacist? >> again, i don't think he's a white supremacist. i've never asked him if he's a white supremacist. what i don't like though is the toleration of it. it's something that should be completely and totally intolerated. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: okay. >> so for me, you have to understand most people in this audience and perhaps your family and definitely my family has experienced some level of discrimination, so i find it disgusting and reprehensible and i will renounce it every living day of my life. >> stephen: do you feel burned by your experience at the white house? you were there for ten days-- >> no, no, no, absolutely not. >> stephen: --you were extremely loyal to the president. even at this point after you were shown the door as it were, do you feel burned or backstabbed? >> not at all. >> stephen: really? >> well, let me put it this way, when you take a job like that, stephen, you know that your expiration date is coming. i didn't think i was going to last too long but i thought i'd last longer than like a carton
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of milk. ( laughter ) >> stephen: you were like a bag of raw shrimp. >> you bought your eggs and you were cooking them the day i got fired, it was totally fine, right? ( laught my point is that you take that job recognizing that you're serving at the behest and the duty of the president of the united states, and if he doesn't want you there anymore, then you've got to respectfully leave and leave with honor. i made a lot of mistakes, i tried to own up to those mistakes. but let me tell you, something, okay? you know this, you can just feel this from me, i'm an honest person. >> stephen: wait a second, don't use me as a character witness for you. i don't know. i've met you five minutes ago, what are you talking about? ( laughter ) yeah, "the mooch," i'll sign a loan for him, what are you talking about? >> hey, i'm always good with loans. i'm like the lannisters that way, i'm aryan stark with the comedy writers, i'm like the lannisters the other way. >> stephen: "the mooch" always pays his debt, is that what you're saying? ( laughter ) >> people that know me know that i'm a straight-up person. >> stephen: what would you do differently if you could go back? >> i really thought about that, and i would say absolutely nothing and i'm going to tell you why.
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because what you don't want to do is you don't want to morph or change yourself, you just want to be yourself, and if the good lord puts you in a direction or a stream where it's going the right way, great things will happen. and if it doesn't happen, i'm totally okay with it, i'm totally cool with it. i mean, this guy has been hitting me for three straight weeks and i'm sitting here, right? so, it's fine. >> stephen: yeah. >> at the end of the day, you got to accept what your fate is, and you got to do it without any bitterness and you got to stay humble. >> stephen: well, thank you for being here. >> it's a great honor. >> stephen: would you recommend to other ex-members of the trump administration to come on the show? was it a nice enough experience for you? >> i think it's been great. i would recommend to the president to come. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: i understand you have something for me. >> so i got gifts for stephen, okay? this is-- ( applause ) >> stephen: can we get a shot of this? let the man explain. ( piano riff ) ( cheers and applause ) let the man explain. hold on, let the man explain. >> listen, after he hit me so hard for three weeks, he thought i was going to stab him with that, that's why it's in the
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case-- the hermetically sealed case. >> stephen: no, it's lovely. anthony scaramucci, everybody! we'll be right back with bob odenkirk! stick around! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing "irreplaceable" by beyoncé) ♪ ♪ es shopping super easy. like when you finally get home from the store but forgot that one thing. just say, "hey google, buy dog food." it knows that was a disaster, and this one's you fav. and while you're doing that, it can do this: "okay. ordered coffee." and when you don't want to share everything with your family... [sneezing] "reordering gummy vitamins." and you even get free delivery from here here here and lots of other places with google express. google home and google home mini, now starting at $29.
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man." >> the guy has a lot of energy. >> yeah, it's just a name. >> stephen: please welcome bob odenkirk! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey. ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you, again. saul goodman, who, you know, you obviously played for many years. >> yes. >> stephen: fast-talking-- he's a hustler. >> yes, he is. he's the opposite of me. somebody once asked me, if i saw saul goodman in a room would i want to hang out with him? and, i said, "no way." i wouldn't go near that guy. >> stephen: how about this? would you be able to identify saul goodman? >> oh, yeah, his hands would be moving and, you know, he'd have
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a lot of energy and he'd spin everything, you know, a certain way. you know, that kind of activity. i don't know if you've ever seen it. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i think i just talked to it for like 20 minutes, actually. ( cheers and applause ) saul goodman, that's not the first lawyer you've played, i understand. >> when i was a little kid-- well, a younger kid-- i did pretend to be a lawyer once, yes. >> stephen: how old were you when you pretended? >> 15. >> stephen: 15? >> yes, my friend pete had used the gas station as a short cut, and-- >> stephen: to get around traffic or something? >> yes, and he had to go to court. a policeman saw that. so i showed up, and i had cards and i wore a suit and i said, i'm his lawyer, and handed out the cards. >> stephen: you said bob odenkirk, lawyer? >> i said bob odenkirk, lawyer, and then they told me to sit down and shut up. and then my friend called the judge your highness.
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( laughter ) he did not get off with it. he did not get away with it. >> stephen: what was your endgame? what were you hoping to make happen? >> no endgame. i thought i would have fun at my friend's expense. ( laughter ) this is what comedy is. this is why we do it. >> stephen: okay. so you were literally just-- >> i was just having a laugh, and he was in pain. ( laughter ) >> stephen: now, i first got to know you back at second city in chicago-- or saw you-- i didn't even know you back then. i saw you at second city. >> yes. >> stephen: so i know you as a comedian, you know. >> yeah. >> stephen: you were mr. show. but now you're mr. drama, nominated again. >> i'm very serious. >> stephen: you're very serious. ( applause ) is there-- have you, like-- you're, like, a renowned dramatic actor. no, really, you are. you get nominated three times for doing drama. you are a renowned dramatic actor. do you have a different process? is one harder than the other? >> i learned a few things. i feel like drama is harder than comedy.
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with comedy you got jokes and if you feel good about the jokes and you did them in a room with friends and they got a laugh, well you feel pretty confident they'll get a laugh. >> stephen: yeah, you know when comedy's working, because people make a noise. >> with drama, you're working with this rich story, written by peter gould and vince gilligan, the head writers of "better call saul" and people from "breaking bad," you know, it's a very rich story and layered. you get in the middle of a season of that kind of story and you're just kind of hoping the audience can follow where it's all going, and that it sort of resonates with them the way you're playing it. so i'm always amazed. i feel very lost in the middle of doing that job, compared to comedy. also, i learned, in drama, it's not good to kind of give advice to your other actors, where, in comedy, people are more, like, "hey, i've got a line for you!" and if it's funny, the person is like, "thank you, awesome!" i was doing fargo with a great actor and a good friend martin freeman, and we had a scene
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together, and i was like, oh, i have an idea for him. "umm, martin, you know what? maybe your character is like a little envious of me. i mean, secretly. and that's why he's resentful." and he just looks at me. he goes, "never tell me how to act again." ( laughter ) >> stephen: with an english accent, actually. >> i loved it so much. it killed me. ( laughter ) >> stephen: congratulations on your emmy nomination. >> thanks. >> stephen: that's a third time. obviously, big deal. ( applause ) >> hey, it's an honor-- seriously, it's an honor just to be nominated in such an amazing group of actors. >> stephen: and it seems like you're really gunning for a win this year, you know. >> i don't really know what you mean by that. i'm just doing the regular interviews. but, i don't know, that's not weird. >> stephen: some people are pointing out, that, to ensure victory, your emmy campaign has
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been acting a little unethically. >> that's crazy! who are these "some people"? i'd like to have names. >> stephen: well, for example, me and my staff. in fact, we obtained a videotape of your son. >> bob odenkirk, jr.? >> stephen: yeah. >> no, he is a high-quality boy. >> stephen: well the video shows bob odenkirk, jr. taking a meeting that he shouldn't have taken. should we just watch it? should we just watch the video? >> yeah, i would like to see this, yes! let me see it! >> stephen: jim? >> hey, comrades! all right! how you doing? good to see ya! thanks for coming by the odenkirk tower. i'm bobby odenkirk, jr. i'm my daddy's emmy campaign strategist. so, you know, he's a good man, my dad. oh, there he is-- muah! gotta kiss the picture.
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now, we're here to talk about what you can do for me to help my daddy win at the emmys. maybe we could do a little collusion here, maybe a few major crimes, if you don't mind. ( laughter ) first off, you guys got any dirt on my daddy's emmy competition? >> emmys? why you talk to us about this? >> hey, have yourself an odenkirk cheese ball. they're the number one cheese balls in this building right now at this point. tell me you don't have some dirt on this guy, kevin spacey, huh? he hasn't deleted any e-mails recently? how about this guy, riz ahmed, is he secretly not a muslim, huh? tmz would like to know, i think. >> this is ridiculous, we were told this would be about the russian adoption. >> okay, adoption-- hey, how about an odenkirk porkchop? they're the number one porkchop in this room right now! i've got some very nice boys who i would like adopted to russia.
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hey, how about this little fellow? it's milosh, i think. >> oh, "this is us"! they reinvented the family drama! >> they reinvented the family drama, there you go! take these boys, take them now back to russia, give 'em a little bit of love, give 'em a little bit of pride, some confidence, make 'em feel a sense of self-worth so they don't end up trying to win the love of a distant father by meeting a bunch of dirty russian mobsters in a broken down motel room. ( cheers ) >> you are making me uncomfortable, please stop. >> stephen: bob, that footage is incredibly-- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: bob, that footage is incredibly damning and i really think that-- >> more fake news from stephen colbert! hashtag lying! hashtag sad! hashtag odenkirk base growing everyday! >> stephen: all right, i apologize. >> thank you. >> stephen: that's on me.
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>> you owe me that. >> stephen: good luck at the emmys. >> thank you, friend. >> stephen: bob odenkirk, everybody! we'll be back with a performance by liam gallagher! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) nick is a logistical mastermind. when it comes to moving packages on a global scale, nobody does it better. he's also an avid cookie connoisseur. dig in, big guy. but when it comes to mortgages, he's... less confident. fortunately for nick, there's rocket mortgage by quicken loans. it's simple, so he can understand the details and get approved in as few as eight minutes. apply simply. understand fully. mortgage confidently. rocket mortgage by quicken loans.
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>> stephen: you know my next guest as the lead singer of oasis and tonight he's making his solo u.s. television debut with "for what it's worth" from its album forthcoming album, "as you were." ladies and gentlemen, liam gallagher. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ in my defense all my intentions were good ♪ and heaven holds a place somewhere for the misunderstood ♪ you know i'd give you blood if it'd be enough ♪ ♪ ♪ the devil's on my doorstep since the day i was born ♪ it's hard to find a sunset in the eye of a storm ♪ but i am a dreamer by design
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and i know in time we'll put this behind ♪ for what it's worth i'm sorry for the hurt ♪ i'll be the first to say i've made my own mistakes ♪ for what it's worth i know it's just the word and words betray ♪ and sometimes we lose our way for what it's worth ♪ behind the lens is a poison a picture you paint ♪ and let's not pretend you were ever searching for saints
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♪ cause i've been crucified for just being alive ♪ somewhere in the crossfire of this whispering war ♪ seems that i forgot just what i was fighting for ♪ but underneath my skin there's a fire within, still burning ♪ for what it's worth i'm sorry for the hurt ♪ i'll be the first to say i've made my own mistakes ♪ for what it's worth i know it's just the word and words betray ♪ sometimes we lose our way
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for what it's worth ♪ ♪ ♪ the first bird to fly gets all the arrows ♪ lets leave the past behind with all our sorrows ♪ i'll build a bridge between us and i'll swallow my pride ♪ for what it's worth i'm sorry for the hurt ♪ i'll be the first to say i've made my own mistakes ♪ for what it's worth i know it's just the word and words betray
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♪ sometimes we lose our way for what it's worth ♪ ( cheers and applause ) thank you! >> stephen: liam gallagher, everybody! we'll be right back! ( cheers and applause ) thanks, that was beautiful. thanks for being here. ( cheers and applause )
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ikea. ( cheers and applause ) ( piano riff ) >> stephen: hey, that's it for the "late show," everybody! good night! ( cheers and applause ) captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh ♪ are you ready to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight if you worry ♪ where it is you come from it'll be all right ♪ it's the late, late show >> reggie: ladies and gentlemen, all the way from atlanta,


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